cyber mistress – strictly professional
I'm a huge fan of the silent quivers website.
The author is a lover of heavy corporal and all things strapping and bondage. Just what I like to deliver in a session. I do like a heavy masochist, they are so rewarding.
Do drop in and check it out. Some of the new stories are rather engaging.
I always liked the title of my friend's website as it defines so many of my clients. They come to me after years of denial and avoidance, then they are literally quivering in the emotions they face in their first pro-Domme session.
I find it delightful at every level to be entrusted to make their first BDSM experience a good one.
So, please do visit Silent Quivers - do checkout the writings. While I am sure they don't apply to everyone, they sure to desonate with many of my clients.
I'm just wondering, what should I contyribute? Maybe details of a session? Maybe details of some of my equipment? We'll see. Work is totally engrossing, going through the startup phase and trying to delegate where possible.
Rick my long standing client who has been into BDSM for most of his adolescent and all his adult life said, "It is the powerful inner emotions that the BDSM I like triggers. It is almost as if I'm quivering, vibrating in my need for it at time."
Wow. He's right. I know some firsat time clients are emotionally super fragile when I meet them so it takes a lot of empathy and care to provide just what they want. And what they need. Sometimes those two things can be difficult to define and differentiate.
Rick has been a great client and now his partner is seeing to some of his needs for corporal and bondage. She's also giving him all the sex that I don't offer which is a good thing. I'll probably make time off from my new career to session with them again shortly. They are a delightful couple.
The best thing about Rick and his partner is that they've achieved a level of acceptance for BDSM and are able to take pleasure and shared intimacy from it. It brings so much to their relationship.
Play safe - play sane - enjoy life.
MT.
I know. Why post again so quickly? Sigh.
The answer is that for some reason, posting the previous article about the Naughty Shorts book Trikki is writing lifted my spirits so much.
Also, it has made me make a decision. It helped set a course of action.
From making that decision I can feel a new lease of life, a new me even though I’ve not had a session in such a long time. Opening myself up has also been cathartic.
How long has it been since I had a session?
Maybe six months. Heavens. I can give five or more sessions to my clients in an evening, but does Mistress Tish get anything in return (well there is the money)? No. The answer is I give and give and all I get is cold hard emotionless money. Where is my stress relief? Who puts back into me? How an I fulfilled?
Who understands the difficulty of crafting BDSM sessions that captivate and consume my clients, shift their perceptions into sub space and gives them relief more than me?
Often clients and others peripherally on the edges of BDSM think the Mistress is all seeing and all knowing. Let me tell you. It can be a challenge. Sure I have an eye that takes in and analyzes with one glance. I see the kneeling slave, I can almost get into his or her head, then I craft the session to fulfil. To consume. To transport. But it comes at a cost. Nothing is for free. I put in energy both physical and emotional.
The physical effort is easy. I work out, I run, I swim and do a little martial arts training. But the emotional energy is different. It lingers. It sits deeply. Sometimes after a big afternoon and evening of giving demanding sessions I am washed out. I feel like my brain is almost bruised and I’ve got nothing more to give.
I suppose it would be easier if I didn’t care about my clients. I could just sort of session them. I could ease up on the creativity. I could fixate on me and my needs instead of giving them what they need (as opposed to what they want) and I think that would be a lot easier.
The problem is that it would not be honest. I would not be providing a proper service to them. I know my client list would shrink and my return-rate would drop. So the money would reduce. DAMN it is all about the money again.
I can only be me and that comes at a cost.
Now those of you following my blog (thank you) know that Roger has been a God-send for me. I’m not a clingy-needy person, but having a steady boyfriend has been a revelation.
Together and being a couple is almost addictive. Being up front and honest with him on night one was a winning strategy. Now he understands who I am and we form a couple based on trust and connection. Sure, the sex is brilliant and his mind is even better. Wow. The full package.
Hmm. I’ve not tried him with dancing yet. He is a bit geeky. It could be challenging to keep a straight face if I get him onto the dance floor. Oh dear. I’m feeling the humour in that right now. Again my spirits lift.
The problem is that the wonderful togetherness, the sex, the snuggling between the sheets and the soul touching communication aren’t the complete thing for me. My own need for a BDSM session is still there. It festers. It grows.
It is so hard to be honest isn’t it.
I know I expect it of my clients, yet when it is me and writing those words I was and am so tempted to erase the whole article.
What is it with this? I am a professional dominatrix yet I struggle to express my needs. It feelts strangly hypocritical and that upsets me. I hate dishonesty.
I know my sessions make my subs feel better. They come in stressed out, tense, almost quivering in their inner tensions. Then when they leave they are truly new people.
Yet I struggle with my own needs. I struggle to express them. Most of all I struggle to actually do something about it.
I have tried therapy. A little. It was a mixed blessing as not all therapists are created equal. In fact, before my first session where Magenta sessioned me, I spent an agonizing couple of hours on the couch talking about me. The insights from that really did help.
Maybe this could be yet another ‘short’ for Trikki. Mistresses first session. Oh dear. That would make it even slower to be released.
On that. Therapy. It is a strange thing to open oneself up to a stranger. No matter that they are a professional. But doing it really is helpful.
Thinking about that some more, it is exactly what my clients do when I session them. I am their therapist. I listen to their needs, I analyze their reactions, I take them through a session that gives them fundamental relief.
So why am I so precious about this?
It is a stigma that lingers long after my vanilla upbringing. My parents instilled in me a certain mind set that is not compatible with my work or my needs. Now I find that struggle in accepting I am a real person with real needs.
I will have a session.
Having made the decision and writing this, I feel the relief in me.
But you dear reader, and I know many of my subs follow my exploits, you all now know that Mistress is a real person with her own needs. She’s maybe not the ice-queen she portrays in session.
Like us all, Mistress is multi faceted. Denying one piece of Mistress, pushing it into the background leads to significant stress. Just like for her subs.
So, it is time for Mistress Magenta to take me to sub space again for an hour. The questions that leap out are;
1. What do I tell Roger?
2. Should he participate?
Sure, Mistress Tish gets her full service sub Angel to give her clients a happy ending. Should Mistress Tish when she is having a session herself have a happy ending? It is appealing. Roger may in fact enjoy it for a double or more happy ending.
Damn. Those are diverting thoughts.
Then the next demeaning question is;
3. Should I tell Trikki for his naughty shorts?
Damn and triple damn. How precious is Mistress with her needs? That is the real question. Oh. And how brave?
I need to talk to Magenta about this. When Trikki eventually publishes his book of naughty shorts it will be probably be over 500 pages and growing. I think he needs a little push to get it finished.
Pay safe and sane,
‘Tish
I occasionally check what is happening with ‘Trikki as after all, he and one of my favorite clients ‘Rick’ are good friends.
Trikki wrote ‘Ricks First Session’ about our first meeting in the dungeon. I quite liked it. Trikki does go in for long descriptions and lots of background which I enjoy.
Anyway Strict Learning is Trikki’s latest book and I grabbed a copy. It’s on special pricing and for 60,000 words the crazy price of $1 works for me. Thanks Trikki!
I LOVED it. It has three separate sections. A simple corporal session at the start, a quite long section with sex and classroom corporal, then a huge corporal session leading into some bondage and fetish at the rear.
I do like Ms Smeet the headmistress and her gear. She gives a solid strapping and caning which are attributes I see in myself. Trikki described a strapping stool which I do not have, and from his descriptions, it is something I should remedy.
All my clients indulge in a little bondage. A nice leather covered stool with lots of straps to keep them tightly bound and presented for discipline and maybe a little strap-on play would spice things up nicely. I wonder how I could get Angel involved with this for my double sessions? More thought required.
I’m a lot younger than Rick and Trikki and in the years between, the use of corporal punishment was banned in schools. I never saw or heard of it at school.
I think that’s a good thing.
On average before I moved to my current position, I was doing maybe 3 corporal sessions a day for five days a week. That’s a lot and admittedly I have a lot of repeat clients.
However, I have seen a lot of clients, and I talk to them to find their likes, their dislikes and try to get inside their heads. To be successful I believe it’s essential to find a connection and gain understanding of my clients.
What I do hear, and it is something that upsets me, is that some clients can’t abide some implements because of school days trauma.
In particular, some clients hate the cane because they were caned so hard and so often at school. They felt the injustice of it, the brutality of a grown person beating a child, that it stayed with them for decades. That’s upsetting.
I love giving corporal punishment. There is no point being shy about this. It is however between consenting adults.
The ‘swick’ of the cane as it lands across a bottom, the ‘crack’ of a strap, the ‘splat’ of the a flogger; all are delightful to me. I hear the gasps of the slave as the pain kicks in, I see them squirm in bondage, and I see their conflicted feelings. They want to escape the pain, they dread the next stroke, they love the session and don’t want it to end.
Most of all I adore watching the wide eyes of the client, the slave, taking discipline from me and seeing them change. They watch me with cane, strap, flogger or whatever tools I am using, and they steel themselves to accept what I dish out. When I tell them ‘It’s a dozen of the best for you naughty boy’ then deliver them, I see them struggle to accept the pain. But when it is over I see the relief and the pleasure at their achievement.
I love to see a client recede, regress, move from the here and now into sub-space as the session proceeds. That is the end goal, the Mistress Goal and mark of a good session. Crafting a session to suit a client, then to actually bring that about is a fantastic feeling.
Finally, at the end of a session I see them ‘re-invented’ from their time with me. They come into the session stressed, sometimes almost shaking and hardly able to hold a conversation. When they leave relaxed, reassured of their place in the world, happy and refreshed, I call that a success.
Corporal punishment has its place. It’s all part of a negotiated session. The client express a need, I work with them, I provide what is agreed.
That is the place for corporal punishment. Not in schools.
Play safe, play sane, respect is everything – ‘MT
I see Rick over at Silent Quivers has finally got some content up on his website, and I see the depression topic has been a focus. My goodness, it has taken him a while. I presume he and Judith have had a busy Christmas.
My take on depression is simple; see your doctor. Start there. Do it. Now.
I mean, if you break a bone or get a nasty cut, what do you do? You see a doctor. Then when you see the doctor they do a few things to get you right again. Depression is the same. No one thing is going to fix it and it takes time.
Cuts heal over time, depression heals over time. Both need the right care. If you had a nasty cut, would you put dirt on it? No. Same for depression. You do the right things to get cured.
I told you my take on it was simple.
Depression is awful. I see clients with it and I can cater for some of their needs but human beings are complex, depression happens for a number of reasons and more than one at the same time.
I promise that a good hard caning from me will take your mind off your depression… but I don’t think it treats the problem.
What I saw on the Russian internet article was that the caning was part of a clinic, not just a BDSM session that I and those like me provide. More than one thing, more than one therapy was happening, the ‘treatment’ wasn’t just a caning.
Anyway, applause to Rick at Silent Quivers for getting started. Christmas and the new year can be a difficult time for some, perhaps he’ll do some good.
Play happy – ‘MT